Does He Want You On HIS Terms? Or Does He Love You but ONLY when it Suits Him? He twists women around and ties them in knots like pretzles. Jerking them in 10 different directions. Pulling them like taffy and laughing all the while. What he may not realize is Wishy-Washy men turn ugly in a flash.

I dated a guy who, once he showed me he had “mission & purpose” in life and towards me while courting me, made me think deeply about our behavior regarding things we really want. He shed light on the fact that even one’s walk should be in line with one’s purpose. What an insightful thing, I thought. How West Point of him. He means what he says. Says what he means. Then he does it. A man with integrity, at last. What a novel concept, I thought…

While he was a lad who knew what he wanted and that included Yours truly, that made him extremely attractive, so attractive that he was in a game for my heart. The moment he started flaking out, I realized there’s nothing less attractive then a guy who doesn’t know what he wants. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

As usual and as always, the bait men generally use to lure women to treat them like someone they love, is to pretend they want something long term, to pretend they love them, to pretend they are devoted to the woman exclusively. All they have to do is get the woman to buy into it and – voila, all the love and passion they get to enjoy – well until she figures out he is lying – is the kind women ONLY give to men they believe love them and want to have a commitment with them.

Do we sometimes really NOT know what we want? When we say we “don’t know if we want a relationship”, aren’t we really saying we don’t want a relationship WITH YOU? On the other hand, a successful alpha male told me guys frequently do get confused and taught me, “Men are simple, naive, and sometimes stupid”. “Men are really obvious and simple”, I’m told. Well if that’s the case, where is this simplicity when ladies need it?

When the man is basking in the love energy of a woman he has made promises to or mislead into believing they have something more than just sex when he wants it no strings attached, he is actually stealing from her. He is stealing her affection, her time, her energy, her intimacy – all under the guise of being a potential long term boyfriend. He wants all the benefits of the kind of love and affection and open sexuality a woman shares with a man she trusts, but he does not want the responsibility or the accountability that goes along with it. SO he MISLEADS her. Very often we all do this subconsciously, when we are caught in the practicality and beauty of the moment. He gets what HE wants, then when it is time for him to hold up his end of the bargain, which he had no intention of ever doing in the first place, his only option is to either make up some big lie OR simply say, “I don’t know what I want.” What could be simpler. When the girl starts complaining or getting upset that he is not calling her and not seeing her as much as he acted like he was intending to, he is basically called out on the carpet and the I-Don’t-Know-What-I-Want alibi is the quickest way for him to exit stage left without getting busted. It makes perfect sense for a person whose intention is to manipulate  one into giving them love and sex they really don’t deserve.

The moral of the story is this: When one is READY to be the best version of themselves, one knows what needs to be done. We all know right from wrong. Don’t buy the “I don’t know what I want” story. Feel free to call BS on that one. They know exactly what they want and it is NOT to be in a relationship where they have to be accountable, with you or/and at all. Who wants relationship with a person who’s confused or doesn’t know what they want anyway? Ready or not, the gig is up. Words may lie, but actions never do.

If one is not ready to play in the Big League in an honest way, relegate him or her back to minors and let them continue playing with those in diapers.

There’s nothing more attractive than a man who has his shit together, who isn’t afraid, and who’s mission and purpose includes – You.

I know what I want. Do you?


©2012 The Tinka Show. All Rights Reserved.

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