It’s the Christmas Spirit, the season of giving. Isn’t giving a gift what Christmas and New Year’s Eve are all about? The answer to that question is YES…BUT not an expensive one.

I love giving gifts although it is a general consensus that women should NOT give gifts to men they are only dating because it seems desperate and overreaching and will end up causing him to take you for granted. That is probably true if you are giving him lavish gifts and he is handing you a stale box of See’s candy someone at his office gave him the year before. If he does this by the way, dump him! But back to the original question, my advice on this topic is as follows: Give him something consumable, edible or drinkable. Something you can enjoy together such as a bottle of a favorite champagne or wine (make sure he opens it and drinks it with you, not stashes it away for some future date he may have with someone else). Another kind of consumable would be something edible, even if it’s a box of cookies from Trader Joe’s or a mini chocolate torte from the bakery down the road. Don’t overdo it. It’s just a token and take into consideration what his tastes are. If he loves Tiramisu, hit the bakery and grab a little tiramisu and put a bow on it. Time it so it is something you can eat or drink together after a date that same night perhaps.

If you are only dating and he is not a serious boyfriend yet, DO NOT get him something expensive. Stay away from electronics, clothing, jewelry, tickets to sports games, spa days or anything of the kind. Let him be the one to spring for something pricey. Men feel emasculated by women who give them lavish gifts. It can embarrass them, make them feel uncomfortable and/or like they are being pushed, and when men feel that way, it makes them like you a little less. Weird, I know. But that’s how it is. So completely forget that kind of gift altogether until after the relationship goes to the next level and after he has lavishly gifted you on myriad occasions.

Men, on the other hand SHOULD get a girl they really like and want a future with, some kind of jewelry, designer item or perfume. Chocolates are good but only as a supplemental gift to another more substantial gift. Do NOT give her sexy lingerie because that is a selfish gift for you, not her. You are clearly only thinking of yourself and of her parading around in it for your pleasure. So resist the temptation to give her something to gratify you sexually. That’s selfish and an insult, especially to a woman you are only dating. Men, if the woman you are dating at Christmas is not important enough to you to warrant a real gift, do her a favor, do yourself a favor and break up with her. Give her a chance to find a guy who really cares about her and appreciates her. Move on.

Happy Holidays everyone and if you follow my advice for Christmas gift giving when dating, you won’t go wrong.

By Tinka Milinovic

©2011 Tinka Milinovic. All Rights Reserved.

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