I’ve got a girlfriend in NYC whose (now ex) boyfriend wanted her to move in with him. She liked him a lot, so she did. But even though he was making 3-4x more $$$ than she, he still wanted her to pay 50/50 for the rent, dinners, food, furniture, etc.

She tried, and tried, and tried to enjoy their relationship. For almost two years she tried, but she couldn’t continue to admire this guy long enough to stay with him and start a family. He did have some good qualities too, she says, but overall she couldn’t grasp the fact that it was expected from her to be financially equally contributing to their household, especially since her paycheck was a quarter of his. I always wonder what’s sexy about guys who treat us like roommates? Nothing. And sooner or later, we gotta move on.

I notice many women in their 30’s are mad and angry, furious, disgusted and fed up with dating in general. The prospect of finding that special someone grows dimmer with each passing year especially with the mind set of single men these days. Seems many guys out there now want a roommate, not a romance. They wrongly think they can have both. Doesn’t work that way, sorry to tell ‘em. They want to go dutch, split the bill, go halves on the rent and utilities. That may be all well and good, but – for a ROOMMATE (read: someone you DO NOT sleep with).

A woman will not feel as if she is being treated right if this happens. She will feel that he takes her for granted and that he wouldn’t be there for her. She starts feeling less and less sexy about them as a couple and about their relationship. If she pays half but makes way less than he, what’s sexy about that?! Why the heck does she need a man for? She’s better off being by herself. Women could be ok with the prorated rent, but not 50/50. We don’t care about sexually enjoying someone just because “it’s practical” and you already live together. Sooo not sexy. It this total roommate mindset that will not work out romantically and emotionally.

So men out there, you want the woman to pay half? You want her to break out her credit cards at dinner? You want her to pony up for half the cable bill and the DWP? Ok, fine. No problem. Will do. We have careers. We can pay our share. But GUESS WHAT? We’ll pay half, but don’t ask us for sex. Don’t expect any romance or love or nooky of any kind. Don’t ask us where we’re going, what we’re doing or who just called. Why? Because YOU ARE A ROOMMATE now, and guess what? We don’t have sex with roommates. We don’t love roommates. We don’t plan a future with roommates. We share the utility bills with roommates, not our beds, our hearts or our lives. So have it your way, you cheap tightwad you. Just be careful, coz when you open your wallet, moths will fly out. So keep those moths in there and make friends with Palmula and her 5 friends, because that’s all your going to be getting if you choose going Dutch over getting laid. Knock yourself out. Romance or Roommate? You choose.

By Tinka Milinovic

©2011 Tinka Milinovic. All Rights Reserved.

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