Which is better? Hot, Sexy BROKE GUY with a Six Pack? OR a Short, Balding, Out of Shape, Funny Zillionaire? The Pros and Cons

Let’s dissect this one.

By observing women and men and the life itself, this is what I’ve learned:

A successful partner needs to provide a woman one or both of the following: 1) financial security or/and 2) emotional security. The best is if he can deliver both. But not less then one or the other. But what shall you do when there’s a hot broke guy and fat rich guy waiting to court you – given you like them both? Disclaimer: in this post, I will NOT cover my favorite option: hot, kind, young & successful. That’s too easy to address.

A woman ought to take the funny zillionaire over the hot broke guy any day of the week. BECAUSE….for starters, the cute guy, will end up bald or fat or ugly in a few years ANYWAY, so you may as well get with the ugly guy straight off the bat and enjoy the fruits of his labor, or inheritance for that matter. Everything is a little better when you are flying private, sitting in the VIP section, eating at the best places in town, riding around in a Porsche or a Bentley instead of a Kia. Everything is better when you are hanging out at a beach front estate or kicking it in a cabana at posh beachside resort rather than sweltering in a dinky apartment near the freeway and eating Chinese take out from the box.

So what if Daddy Warbucks is ugly, who cares? Send him to the waxing salon to rip that rug off his hairy back, get him a good hair cut, a few tanning sessions, some snappy duds – and voila – he’s not so bad after all. Ok, the sexy hardbody dude is hard to resist, but why not have him on the side? Do it Desperate Housewives style: rich hubby, sexy lover. That’s what men do. Be careful, though. When the rich guy finds out you cheated he’ll kick you out on your ear, take away all the gifts and cut you off. Make sure it’s worth it or that you cover your tracks thoroughly.

In conclusion, the benefits of hanging with a zillionaire far outweigh the benefits of a few moments of awe in bed over a guy with a gorgeous bod, great hair and really white teeth. Besides, great hair and a six pack don’t pay the rent or buy amazing vacations, diamonds or Louis Vuitton luggage. Like Marilyn said: “A kiss may be grand but it won’t pay the rental on your humble flat or help you at the automat” (what the hell is an automat anyway, Marilyn?)…. So, Mr. Moneybags is short and bald, pudgy….not so great looking, oh what the heck… It’s what YOU LOOK LIKE that matters, not what he looks like. It’s how he makes you FEEL that really matters.

The great looking guy will soon be bald and sun damaged and have a beer gut himself…AND STILL BROKE. At least the ugly rich guy has nothing to lose in the looks department so there are no surprises down the road. What you see is what you get and the fringe benefits far outweigh the draw backs.

Illustration: James Marno

By Tinka Milinovic. ©2011 The Tinka Show. All Rights Reserved.


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