Hello Tinka

My girlfriend showed me your website, and finding your opinion close to ours I decided to ask you for advice. Shortly about me and my girlfriend. We work In the gentlemen club in NYC. One of the best ones and very nice one. We both are very sexy and nice ladies. And actually both of us are very good entertainers, just have different techniques of seduction. But question is not about that. We try to date different interesting men, looking for a right and supportive guy. Most of the men me or my friend go to the dates with are very successful and rich. But our most issue is that when it come to a simple thing of asking a man to take care about simple bills or buying smth really nice – like a simple luxury treat for a beautiful “me” – we just can`t. This issue of having a nice personality and just simply letting men know that a girl needs a financial support always being a number one problem. I don`t really go out with customers from the club – but its easier to tell them – $2000 for a diner and that`s it, then asking a man who likes you and wants to go out with you on the dates and be with you about simple financial support (as most of the time when I go on dates I miss my working shift – means miss my money that pays my bills). And problem is that I do like the guy and like the time I spend with him, but slowly date after date, having no support or a simple shopping with a man who you potentially planning to have a hot sex with and have fun with, destroys all attraction. And funny thing is all these guys have lots of money, but they are like stupid boys, they have no understanding that dinner in expensive restaurant – it’s just a dinner for me (I basically can afford it on my own) and it`s not enough, it doesn`t prove me that I have a real man next to me…. So Our issue is – How to explain to a man what I want or how to say it – so at the end he won`t think: “Oh she just wants money from me, but not me”…Which is not true…I usually go out on a date with somebody I’m attracted to, but one attraction is not enough – it`s just a little sparkle, but to get a fire – A girl should have this nice financial treatment….. Just right now I went out for few dates with young and successful guy, good looking, I didn`t tell him that I dance. He called me to his place – I came in and kissed him, hang out and left….For him – taking me out expensive and going to different shows is enough to get a girl in the bed, but for me not at all…. I need at least longer time of dates and good thousands of spendings – help and support….But usually when I say something like that – guys get offended calling me a gold digger or etc… And let’s say if I play by their rule – my life still doesn`t change for better … Recently I had a very difficult situation in my life when I extremely needed money – none, none of this millionaires (single or married) helped me, no matter how nice or bitchy I`m being with them and no matter how hard they wanna have sex with me – they all turned me the backs, at the same time calling me for a dinner – so again my close girlfriends helped me… Also question, how long do you think should pass time before a man wants or starts to be this generous man?   


Dear Starr,

First of all, most men are a bunch of pussies. They are selfish and cheap. That being said, here is the thing: if you have to ask a man for money, there is the chance he will treat you like a hooker. His ego may get bruised. Men fear being used for money on one hand, but on the other hand when they meet a woman they really care about, if they have money, sky is the limit. They will buy their girl anything she wants. The key is a man can’t be pushed into generosity. It has to be voluntary on his part. It has to be his idea. It has to be something he offers, not something you ask him for in exchange for sex. A real man, any man who is a man and worth his salt, will want to take care of everything financially. If a guy cares about you, he won’t want you to pay for anything. It takes some time, however. Focus on finding a man you really feel something for, and if he deserves you, he will take care of you. Any guy who has the financial means but still does not pick up the tab is not worth your time. I would say give it a little time. You will know by the 3rd date if he is a hero or a zero. It is better to wait and find out what he will do on his own and really know what kind of person he really is and how he really feels about you, than you pressure him into paying for things and not know if he is doing it willingly or is he is doing it to get sex. So the only way to find that out, is to NOT have sex with him, give it time and see what he does on his own. If he turns out to be one of those who have a snake in their pocket, ditch him. And believe me, there are a lot more cheapskates than generous men. Don’t take it personally if he turns out to be too tight to foot the bill. There are a million broke guys to every genuinely well off guy, and of the well off ones, only a small fraction of those are generous and of those, only precious few will be into you. Every cheap guy you don’t connect with, that is one more Mr. Wrong out of the way. Keep trying, keep looking for the right one who you genuinely want to be with, and who genuinely wants to be with you will be generous on his own. If he is not, he is the wrong guy and move on. Next! And just be careful asking him directly for money or to pay for your bills, since he may view that as acting like a ho and could start trying to treat you like one. Waiting it out is a better way to go if you really like the guy, and if he is the right guy, he will step up to the plate and do the right thing. If he does not, stop spending time with him. That simple.

P.S. Next time I’m in NYC, mind you giving me a seduction technique/dance lesson?


By Tinka Milinovic.  

©2011 Tinka Milinovic. All Rights Reserved.

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