Do relationships that start off with sex too soon always end bad? Do guys disrespect you if you jump right into the sack with them? Of course they do. They think of you as EASY, slutty, a push over, a booty call, good for a quickie that they don’t have to work for or be accountable for. All the stuff your mom told you IS TRUE. Men figure if you were that easy with them you must be that easy for every guy who comes along. No one appreciates anything they get easy and free. As one of my guy friends says, “What’s free is worth nothing.” Besides, how can you get to know a person if you have sex on the first date? You can’t. Everything instantly reverts to sex. You don’t try to get to know the person, you just end up having sex and it turns into an easy lay for the guy where he has all the benefits of being a boyfriend, but none of the hassle or limitations and accountability of a relationship.
Hence, I suggest what I call the 30 day rule. Wait 30 or so days…. or circa 30 dates if you have a lot of patience and/or if you REALLY want something long term. Get to know him! Sounds totally cliche but it’s true. See if he is a jerk or a great guy. See if you even want to have anything to do with him. Anyone can put on a facade, fake it, make themselves look way better than they are, but not many can stretch that out over a month or two. The truth comes out in the wash and it takes a little time for the wash to come completely clean. Also you find out if they guy is really truly interested in you or if he is just looking for a quick roll in the hay. If he is just looking for no-strings-attached sex, he won’t wait it out. He will move on to a chick that will put out immediately. Guys are not too patient when it comes to getting laid UNLESS, they really like you and truly want to get to know you. Whatever they have that is so great, if it is real, it will still be the same in 30 days or 30 dates. If, on the other hand, his portrayal of himself is fake, in 30 days, or 30 dates which could take a lot longer, you will be able to tell what his true intentions are. You will know if he is a jerk, a drunk, a womanizer, etc.
Women can become attached to men when they have sex with them, but men become attached to women through TIME. If he doesn’t want to get attached, he won’t waste the time. No man will waste time on a woman he is not interested in if she isn’t giving away her goods, so not putting out is the true test. If, however you just want to use him for sex and couldn’t care less if you will ever see him again, then go for it, but don’t come crying to me if he blows you off.
By Tinka Milinovic. ©2011 The Tinka Show. All Rights Reserved.