Now that the quintessential Cougar/Cub couple Ashton & Demi are now defunct, does that mean older woman/younger man relationships are doomed? Anytime the subject came up or if someone you knew was in that kind of relationship, invariably Ashton and Demi would be used as an example of how it can work and work well. They were the Patron Saints of the Cougar Movement. Demi was the Queen Cougar…and she failed. She was made a fool of. She got steam rollered publicly by the handsome young husband who, by the way, was just another L.A. actor guy from a half-rated sitcom before she elevated his status to the A-List.
As a woman gets older and the younger guys start to look a lot cuter than the guys her own age and way cuter than guys in the next age group up, it is a tempting thought. Ashton was pretty hot, especially when Demi first snagged him. Who could resist that? Demi was gorgeous, sexy and in shape, not to mention a movie star, so why not? Well here’s why not: because a woman in her mid to late forties, movie star or not, with kids and ex husbands, is at a completely different place in their life than a guy in his late twenties to early thirties who has no kids and has never been married. No matter how gorgeous, in shape, famous, rich and beautiful a woman is in her forties, she is still not a twenty three year old. No amount of fame or fortune can buy her out of the ravages of time. There may be things that stave it off a little, but time marches on and as the years pass, the gap can become increasingly glaring. Conversely, her thirty something year old guy, no matter how mature, experienced, devoted to her he is, he is physically not as affected by the years as she. It’s not sexist, it’s just a fact. A 45 – 55 year old guy can still be hot and sexy and amazing. A woman of the same age is no competition for women in their 20s and 30s, so inevitably when a woman starts losing her youthful appearance, men are going to start looking to trade her in for a younger model. That’s not to say this is always the case, but if Demi Moore couldn’t hold on to a younger guy, what chance do the rest of the ladies have?
My advice is to hang out with the younger guys strictly for laughs and an occasional no-strings-attached fun time. For marriage and long term relationships, go for guys who are older and appreciate you more. Poor Demi was Ashton’s sugar mama. I’m sure he loved her but also used her as a stepping stone, increased his net worth greatly, and got some cred in Hollywood he never would have gotten otherwise through his association with her. I believe had he not hooked up with her, he would have gone the way of so many other cancelled sitcom alumni – not too far. Although an older woman/younger guy relationship can work coz anything’s possible, you are stacking the cards against it if you put yourself into this situation. Take the chance if you must but don’t come crying to me when you catch him in bed with a 21 yr old waitress or stripper. Your grandmother was right when she said, “It is better to be an old man’s sweetheart, than a young man’s fool”.
By Tinka Milinovic. ©2012 Tinka Milinovic. All Rights Reserved