A cute, smart, educated girl in her early 20’s recently asked me how do you deal with “Players”? It’s an interesting question. She wanted to know how to capture the heart of a player. BAD IDEA. She also wanted to know how NOT to develop emotions thus getting motored over by a Playboy/Pick-Up Artist. My answer is as follows:
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! That would be the preferred strategy. If on the other hand, you feel compelled to interact with this sort of useless loser, DO NOT have sex of any kind with him. NO SEX. Do you get it?…NO SEX! The second you do, you will be relegated to his list of conquests and probably forgotten, oh, unless he is horny at 2:00 am in which case you will hear from him. Sounds familiar? After sex, he will drop you like a hot potato, completely disappear, and turn you into a “friend with benefits” (if you allow it, and you don’t have to). His other method would be to give you the bare minimum like a text or two once a week, heartlessly stringing you along, just in case his fresh bimbo well runs dry one night and he has to recycle. Rings the bell? He will act attentive only when he wants sex, and then predictably distant, mean or even cruel, immediately following.
Go by the player’s actions, NOT his words. Don’t give him ANY kind of sex without a clear commitment of monogamy (which isn’t going to happen, btw). It’s that simple. STOP being a players’ doormat, ladies. No player has the patience to wait – that is how you distinguish him from a genuine man actually interested in a real relationship. No sex without monogamy will flat out prevent player inflicted heartbreak 99.9% of the time. Real men will wait as long as you need them to. Give the suspected player the “No Sex” litmus test. If he passes, and I’m talking at least a month or two (trust me, he won’t last a week), proceed with caution. If he fails, good riddance to bad rubbish. Move on and be thankful you were spared the anguish he inflicts upon every woman who has the misfortune of getting involved with him.