Does He Want You On HIS Terms? Or Does He Love You but ONLY when it Suits Him?

He twists women around and ties them in knots like pretzles. Jerking them in 10 different directions. Pulling them like taffy and laughing all the while. What he may not realize is Wishy-Washy men turn ugly in a flash.

I dated a guy who, once he showed me he had ”mission & purpose” in life and towards me while courting me, made me think deeply about our behavior regarding things we really want. He shed light on the fact that even one’s walk should be in line with one’s purpose. What an insightful thing, I thought. How West Point of him. He means what he says. Says what he means. Then he does it. A man with integrity, at last. What a novel concept, I thought…

While he was a lad who knew what he wanted and that included Yours truly, that made him extremely attractive, so attractive that he was in a game for my heart. The moment he started flaking out, I realized there’s nothing less attractive then a guy who doesn’t know what he wants. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

As usual and as always, the bait men generally use to lure women to treat them like someone they love, is to pretend they want something long term, to pretend they love them, to pretend they are devoted to the woman exclusively. All they have to do is get the woman to buy into it and – voila, all the love and passion they get to enjoy – well until she figures out he is lying – is the kind women ONLY give to men they believe love them and want to have a commitment with them.

Do we sometimes really NOT know what we want? When we say we “don’t know if we want a relationship”, aren’t we really saying we don’t want a relationship WITH YOU? On the other hand, a successful alpha male told me guys frequently do get confused and taught me, “Men are simple, naive, and sometimes stupid”. “Men are really obvious and simple”, I’m told. Well if that’s the case, where is this simplicity when ladies need it?

When the man is basking in the love energy of a woman he has made promises to or mislead into believing they have something more than just sex when he wants it no strings attached, he is actually stealing from her. He is stealing her affection, her time, her energy, her intimacy – all under the guise of being a potential long term boyfriend. He wants all the benefits of the kind of love and affection and open sexuality a woman shares with a man she trusts, but he does not want the responsibility or the accountability that goes along with it. SO he MISLEADS her. Very often we all do this subconsciously, when we are caught in the practicality and beauty of the moment. He gets what HE wants, then when it is time for him to hold up his end of the bargain, which he had no intention of ever doing in the first place, his only option is to either make up some big lie OR simply say, “I don’t know what I want.” What could be simpler. When the girl starts complaining or getting upset that he is not calling her and not seeing her as much as he acted like he was intending to, he is basically called out on the carpet and the I-Don’t-Know-What-I-Want alibi is the quickest way for him to exit stage left without getting busted. It makes perfect sense for a person whose intention is to manipulate  one into giving them love and sex they really don’t deserve.

The moral of the story is this: When one is READY to be the best version of themselves, one knows what needs to be done. We all know right from wrong. Don’t buy the “I don’t know what I want” story. Feel free to call BS on that one. They know exactly what they want and it is NOT to be in a relationship where they have to be accountable, with you or/and at all. Who wants relationship with a person who’s confused or doesn’t know what they want anyway? Ready or not, the gig is up. Words may lie, but actions never do.

If one is not ready to play in the Big League in an honest way, relegate him or her back to minors and let them continue playing with those in diapers.

There’s nothing more attractive than a man who has his shit together, who isn’t afraid, and who’s mission and purpose includes – You.

I know what I want. Do you?

©2012 The Tinka Show. All Rights Reserved.

As NeuroVella INI Foundation Ambassador, it was my pleasure to attend 2012 USA Olympic Team Benefit Gala held in Newport Beach, California on April 18, 2012. To learn more about the exciting NeuroVella Institute of Neuro Innovation that supports the U.S. Olympians and which I am a proud patron of, please click here: http://www.inifoundation.org/

The road to the Olympics requires dedication, grueling training schedules, personal adversity, often injuries, and the support of family and friends. We all have our personal Olympics we are constantly competing in, and taking a moment to realize what it takes to strive to be the best on daily basis made me reach out to people who were always there for me and never doubted my determination and persistence. For that, dear family & friends, I thank you!

I had no idea that unlike other countries, USA Olympic athletes are not supported by the government—they are supported by the private sector, so every little bit counted at this fundraising gala where special concierge packages were auctioned off to experience the 2012 Olympic Games in London first hand! And boy, was that fun!!

Athletes in attendance who won gold and those aspiring to do so this summer included Al Joyner, Jason Lezak, Nate Holland, Amanda Beard and others, as well as many of Southern California’s Olympic hopefuls. What a night to remember!

100 days countdown has started!

By Tinka Milinovic

©2012 TheTinkaShow.com. All Rights Reserved.

We do a balance sheet to determine the viability of a business, to assess potential investments, and to determine financial strategies. Business is business, right? Well, relationships are business too. It’s the business of our personal lives and overall really the most important business of our lives, because if that’s messed up – everything is messed up. How many times have you seen a successful professional or business person completely step off a cliff because their marriage or relationship went south? Wars have been fought and kingdoms crashed to ashes over relationships. In fact, men strive to attain power and wealth to IMPRESS US ladies to… well, let’s face it – get laid. AND to get laid by BETTER (ie: younger, hotter, skinnier and sexier chicks). I don’t make this stuff up, I’m just sayin’ it like it is. So, if assets and liabilities are so important professionally, why not apply that concept of analysis to your love relationships?

Ask yourself “Is he an asset or a liability?” Hard to tell sometimes. It might be a toss up. So MAKE A BALANCE SHEET. Put down his assets and his liabilities. Then assign a 1 – 10 number value to each. Plus (+) for ASSETS, and Minus (-) for LIABILITIES.  Here is an example:

ASSETS:

Good in bed > +8

Successful > +10

Generous > +10

Good Cook > +5

Funny > +6

Sexy > +10

TOTAL: +49

LIABILITIES:

Psycho Ex who Stalks Him > -4

Workaholic > -3

Drinks a Little too Much > -8

Arrogant > -8

Small Penis > -3

Spoiled > -7

TOTAL:  (-33) That’s NEGATIVE 33

GRAND TOTAL: +16 (Not Bad. Could be a Keeper.)

Assign an importance factor of plus 1 – 10 to each item for the ASSETS, and at the end ADD that number to the total. For the LIABILITIES assign a number of minus 1 – 10 to each item and SUBTRACT that number from the total. So the ASSET scores are (+), and the LIABILITY scores are (-). It’s best if you put the equal number of Assets as Liabilities. Take the number you’ve got when you added up the Assets (in the example, it was 49) and subtract the negative number you’ve got when you added up the Liabilities (the liability numbers are always negative; in the example, we’ve got -33). If the grand total number is a positive one (in the example: +16) then he is in the running, and the higher the number, the better of a chance that he is an ASSET to your life. If on the other hand the final number is negative or low, then he is a LIABILITY and it is likely he is a detriment to you and in your life.

The other day I’ve heard two guy friends grading women they’re dating from 1 – 10. Men in general do this. Most of their grading is based on the ladies’ look. For us, not so much. So I propose, see what happens when you start assigning some numbers to them. For our evaluation of men, there are many more factors than just looks. In fact, looks can sometimes be a liability when you are talking about men because the better looking they are, the lower their scores usually are in other areas. Try it, you may be surprised to find that the guy you are with or interested in may be worse, or better than you thought. Let me know how it worked out.

By Tinka Milinovic

©2012 The Tinka Show. All Rights Reserved.

11,541 red empty chairs. One for each child, woman and man killed in Sarajevo alone during the longest siege in modern history. Today marks 20 years since the atrocious war in Bosnia-Herzegovina first started. Next 44 months of siege — longer than the World War II siege of Leningrad (St. Petersburg) – Sarajevo’s citizens were left without electricity, water or heat, hiding from the 330 shells a day that smashed into the city.

Many lives were lost. We all knew someone dear. Me included. Thinking of Him… You are always in my heart.

It’s mid January and I’m back in LA.

I had my winter trip all planned out but ended up experiencing the unexpected adventure I could never have planned. Went to Sarajevo to see my folks, Dubai and Abu Dhabi to see a friend, Oman to experience its breathtaking nature, then Vienna for Christmas, and finally Kitzbühel, Austria for amazing snow-skiing and meeting up with old and new friends from all over the world to celebrate the New Year’s Eve in the Alps. Turns out, right after NYE, my heart led me back to United Arab Emirates for seconds that were never part of the original plan but became one of the most beautiful and developmental unexpected experiences I’ve ever felt in my grown-up life.

The funny thing about planning life is that you never know where it will actually take you and who you’re actually going to meet or fall in love with. Entering the Holiday Season alone doesn’t have to be that bad! Love is everywhere and missing out on discovering great opportunities would be a true pity and waste of your ability to feel. So, boys and girls, don’t let the over-planing take away from the spontaneity. Keep your options open and allow LIFE to stir it up a bit and throw you into the good unknown. Chances are you’re gonna L.O.V.E. it!

Let me take you on this trip via my photo gallery:

I love having designers from around the world send me their newest creations to parade around. This time my feet were in for a lovely surprise! What a feast! Oh-so-lavishly-comforatable-and-chic!

Last weekend was a perfect summer day in Beverly Hills to debut my new Sand by Saya sandals sent to me by shoe designer herself, dear Japanese friend Saya Fukuda. Looooove ‘em!

Who said you can’t wear butterflies on your feet?!

Beautiful sandals for beautiful feet!

www.sandbysaya.com

A cute, smart, educated girl in her early 20’s recently asked me how do you deal with “Players”? It’s an interesting question. She wanted to know how to capture the heart of a player. BAD IDEA. She also wanted to know how NOT to develop emotions thus getting motored over by a Playboy/Pick-Up Artist. My answer is as follows:

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! That would be the preferred strategy. If on the other hand, you feel compelled to interact with this sort of useless loser, DO NOT have sex of any kind with him. NO SEX. Do you get it?…NO SEX! The second you do, you will be relegated to his list of conquests and probably forgotten, oh, unless he is horny at 2:00 am in which case you will hear from him. Sounds familiar? After sex, he will drop you like a hot potato, completely disappear, and turn you into a “friend with benefits” (if you allow it, and you don’t have to). His other method would be to give you the bare minimum like a text or two once a week, heartlessly stringing you along, just in case his fresh bimbo well runs dry one night and he has to recycle. Rings the bell? He will act attentive only when he wants sex, and then predictably distant, mean or even cruel, immediately following.

Go by the player’s actions, NOT his words. Don’t give him ANY kind of sex without a clear commitment of monogamy (which isn’t going to happen, btw). It’s that simple. STOP being a players’ doormat, ladies. No player has the patience to wait – that is how you distinguish him from a genuine man actually interested in a real relationship. No sex without monogamy will flat out prevent player inflicted heartbreak 99.9% of the time. Real men will wait as long as you need them to. Give the suspected player the “No Sex” litmus test. If he passes, and I’m talking at least a month or two (trust me, he won’t last a week), proceed with caution. If he fails, good riddance to bad rubbish. Move on and be thankful you were spared the anguish he inflicts upon every woman who has the misfortune of getting involved with him.