Let’s talk about social skills and etiquette.
It is a matter of politeness and etiquette that if you like someone romantically, developing things with them and/or scheduling to meet them, you CANNOT always just rely on texting this person. It’s rude. What, did the price of a phone call got more expansive?
There are many people always there for you (online) but hardly ever (read: NEVER) are there to pick up the phone and hear your voice. Romantically, that’s a disaster. What’s up with so much texting about how he misses you, plans to see you, wants to see you, daydreams about the time spent together, all this texting and not calling, even once?
If you don’t want to be considered just another cell phone entertainment, make sure you sometimes call, just couple of minutes is enough. I don’t care if it’s an international or a local call. A few minutes no matter how short or rare are a great way to deepen a connection between two people. Otherwise you will appear sloppy and as someone whose good intentions cannot be taken seriously. Texting and bbm-ing is a great way to let someone know you exist. But to let us know we should pay attention to you as a real man, your habits better be in check. It’s not like we want to chat with you for hours… nope. We got better things to do too. It’s out of sheer respect that a man should sometimes pick up the phone, no matter how rare, and let someone you are interested in feel it.
Once the romance and intimacy start, you’ve got to give us reasons to like you for more than just your looks and chemistry. Do you really think we’ll get fully turned on and think you’re an amazing man if you always ONLY text us? Really?!?
Could it be he is just not that into us and needs more time to get to know us before he becomes less phone-a-phob? You have no money right now? Are you just cheap? Are you tired from your past phone experiences with exes, that now you’re projecting this crap onto the next one who comes along? Or is it that you don’t call because it feels like too much responsibility? Let’s face it, men hate accountability of any kind when it comes to relationships. Texting is the perfect way for them to communicate without being emotionally invested or feeling at all accountable for our feelings.
Am I suppose to understand the guy who is interested but who, without me even asking, is quick to share his alibi as to why he doesn’t like talking on the phone unless it’s business or awfully urgent? Look, I don’t even know you, you don’t really know me; why sabotage something nice we might have together already so early? It’s a turn off. I hate to talk on the phone too about unnecessary crap, but in men/women’s world, some decency must exist if you want us to take you seriously. Remember, you have to turn us on and keep us on inside our minds, first and foremost. Once an intimacy starts, a short phone call here and there or every day is a great way to keep us interested. Otherwise you will become someone not worth our serious time and attention, and just a typing entertainment while we’re standing in a supermarket queue.
By Tinka Milinovic
©2011 Tinka Milinovic. All Rights Reserved