Does it Pass the “Smell Test” ?

Does it Pass the “Smell Test” ?

Been pissed off about this for quite some time. Far too long. Am surprised no one is talking about it openly or properly. So here it is men, for better or worse (although it can’t go any worse than the smell I’m about to address), let’s LEARN something very important.

For good. For once. For all.

Those of you who have learned to be hygienically responsible, good for you, good for us, you may sit down…. and find something else useful to do to benefit humanity and us, women :)).

For the rest of you, listen carefully. This is not “a maybe”, “perhaps”, “doesn’t apply to me” type of thing. This IS you. And someone needs to upgrade you so you can learn what’s going on.

I don’t know where some of you have been when your mothers and teachers were teaching hygiene. And what kind of women you’ve been in relationships with that forgot to forever teach you these things?! But someone has to do it. So, in the name of all women out there who ever had to bear even one overwhelming breathtaking sniff – and I do mean this in a most literate sense – of your private parts’ repulsive odor, here it is:

Uncircumcised gents:

If you fall into this category, meaning you’ve got plenty of foreskin to work with, be aware that every time you urinate or don’t vent your foreskin on fresh air, we women will be the ones suffering if you come to us for intimacy before you freshly shower. Point. Period. Exclamation. Now let’s address washing those private parts. You must always thoroughly wash and dry everything underneath that skin. And then think of approaching us. Not later. Later means that funky smell will get in there again. Don’t go to your lady after you’ve peed, pooped, sweat, etc if you didn’t freshly wash – thoroughly. The amount of washing should be equally proportioned to the amount of skin uncircumcised man owns. The more you have it, worse it is for us if it’s not kept clean. You’d be better off snapping it off. Do yourself and ourselves a favor. Cut it loose. Trust me, no one will miss it. Not even you after you get used to it. Some of you who have vast amount of it, what is a big deal losing this skin? We women have to be all nice and smooth and and shaved and waxed and tweezed and washed etc etc etc, and all you gotta do in your life hygiene wise is shower and shave. That’s it. Most men get circumcised only because of their religion or only for health issues. But! Can’t you really smell its repulsive odor? Really? Smell your undies sometimes. Whoever has an excessive amount of foreskin should take care of it for sake of his sexual life.

Circumcised gents (and those uncircumcised with so little skin where one cant even notice that you’re not cut):

You are in better start-off position, smell wise. Chances are that the funk will be less prone to develop, but you still gotta wash thoroughly. We heart nice smelling private parts.

All men:

How would you feel if a woman doesn’t wash her private parts thoroughly while you’re excited to indulge in… little picnic? Let’s not forget to address thorough washing of your testicles as well. Excess skin or no skin: Soup. Wash. Pull. Twist. Turn. Rinse. Repeat (if necessary). Get it? Did you know that unwashed unpleasant smell can be felt even through your pants?! Why some of you don’t change your underwear every single day? Did you know that we can smell even 5min old trip to the toilet? Why some of you never learned to wipe off properly? Not few up-way motions or large amounts of toilet paper used, but however many times it takes for that toilet paper to be squeaky clean and clear! And you get an extra point if you wash afterwards. Why some of you sport underwear that clearly has fresh dirty yellow stains? You’d be surprised how many women, girlfriends and wives who are my girlfriends talk to me openly about their husbands poor hygiene habits where men just don’t seem to be phased out by this issue? But women are the ones washing these suckers and noticing it all! But this is a whole another topic that must and will be discussed.

By Tinka Milinovic. ©2011 All Rights Reserved .

Leave a Reply

Share:

Leave a Reply