DO OPEN MARRIAGES LIKE ASHTON AND DEMI’S REALLY WORK?
Sources say Demi and Ashton had an “Open Marriage.” The gossip rags claim Demi is Bi and didn’t mind Ashton having flings as long as she knew about it and presumably he didn’t mind her being with other women, maybe other men, maybe threesomes, who knows… At any rate, this is a perfect example of how open marriages, sooner or later, will not work.
Everyone I have ever known who partakes in threesomes, swinging, be they married, not married, straight, gay or some combination there of, say it ALWAYS ends in disaster. It’s not a matter of IF but WHEN a blow up will come. Why? Because we’re humans. Someone is going to get hurt and become jealous, sooner or later. One of the partners is inevitably going to get a little more extra action than the other. Since it’s ok in this kind of relationship to have open flings, the line gets blurred, and one partner, usually the man, figures it’s ok to have a few secret trysts as well. It often turns into a “give an inch, take a mile” thing. A guy thinks if it’s ok to have a threesome, why not go ahead and have a private session with another woman? And in a way he’s right. With that much grey area where it’s ok in some cases to have sex with other people but not in others, someone is going to blow it and the other person is going to get mad. Someone will cross the line, or not know there was a line, or not know there is a line at all. Another scenario, and I’ve seen this happen with male gay friends as well as married and hetero couples, is that one person ends up getting jealous, insanely jealous, thus leading to the sure demise of the relationship or marriage. Add to that the pressure of public humiliation and judgmental evil eyes towards your relationship once the news hit the air. In most of these cases the end is not pretty. Case in point, Ashton and Demi.
If Demi was giving Ashton the greenlight to do other chicks when she was in on it, it wouldn’t be that hard to fathom that he felt like it was ok to go ahead and do a few on his own on the side. An open marriage is not a marriage. Why even be married. If that is the case, stay single. Marriage is a commitment between two people, not 20 people or not one person and a few dozen other miscellaneous people depending on your mood. For people who want this swinger lifestyle, staying single is the best option and if there is money involved, a lot cheaper. If there are kids, underage kids, involved, it’s absolutely unacceptable, and frankly weak, disgusting and irresponsible. But, hey, between consenting adults, knock yourselves out; only don’t expect your marriage to last if you are letting all kinds of other people into your bedroom.
In Demi and Ashton’s case, I’m sure she was afraid that if she did not let him have other women, he would cheat behind her back. She probably figured letting him cheat in front of her was a less painful scenario than finding out he was doing it behind her back. Maybe the age difference made her feel that way, or maybe she is really Bi and did not want to give that up, so she had to make concessions to him to make it fair. Either way, if that was the case, the marriage was doomed anyway.
Such is life.
By Tinka Milinovic
©2011 Tinka Milinovic. All Rights Reserved